By T.S. Eliot
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as
Peter,
Augustus,
Alonzo or
James,
Such as
Victor or
Jonathan, or
George or
Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as
Plato,
Admetus,
Electra,
Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's
peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail
perpendicular,
Or spread out his
whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a
quorum,
Such as
Munkustrap,
Quaxo, or
Coricopat,
Such as
Bombalurina, or else
Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover -
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in
profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a
rapt contemplationOf the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His
ineffable effableEffanineffableDeep and
inscrutable singular Name.