The No-No List

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I like titular.
:)

Consider self deprecating. One slip of tongue and...

Wow, this list is so much better than mine. :(

Without masticate, we'd never have been able to infuriate high school teachers and peers who were easily led to believe we were saying t'other.

Ooh, I bet that would be especially problematic when spoken with a British accent. Thanks for the recommendation!

don't forget caulk or caulking. i will wander the hardware store for days before asking for any assistance in finding this item.

Now that's a good one. I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner!

I asked some friends the other night if they wanted some nibbles (food) and they all thought I said "nipples".

Oh, I've thought about that list, but it could go on and on. I was chatting with a Japanese friend of mine the other day and she wrote, "it's an effect of grobal warming." I almost died.

I can't say that I've actually ever said errata aloud, but now that you mention it, erratic has been problematic more than once.

Masticate and titular were made for this list.

I'm not even going to go down the ESL mispronunciation path... that's a long, winding road paved with all kinds of faux pas and Engrish wonders. Which would make for a great list of its own, if I ever get around to starting it (or someone beats me to it).

My students (2nd language learners) always say shit for sheet.

A student once told be I "have nice ass." I almost sheet. They tend to leave out articles and it took me some time to figure out she meant eyes.

masticate and titular?

Gee, c_b, isn't that a little personal?

uselessness, do you find people staring at you when you speak of errata?

Classic! How many times do you think *that* phrase has been misinterpreted?

Those are both great stories! You made me laugh out loud.

I heard one recently that's probably too long to type here, but involves someone mistaking the shouted words "New-Rigged Ship!" for the slightly less lyrical "You Big Shit!"

Great story, u! Reminds me of the time I was telling my mother about the directions for cleaning an article of clothing using a damp cloth. "A WHAT cloth??" says she.

"Damp. DAMP! With a 'P'!"

"Oh! I thought you were angry with the cloth for some reason."

I agree about bushtit! I'll add it. Firkin and icehole are brilliant!

Story time: Years ago, on a scout campout, one of the kids was mesmerized by the smoke and embers around the campfire. He was oblivious to the scoutmaster bending over to tend the fire in front of him. And as one particularly large cinder fluttered past, he blurted "wow, that's a big ash!!" Scoutmaster turned beet red and that was the last happy moment that kid had on this trip. Probably one of those "you had to be there" moments.

Firkin is one I came across at work (and reesetee reminded me). An old word, but boy, you gotta be careful... And then there's icehole.

It's also difficult to discuss certain types of birds...say, a bushtit...in certain circles. Although I suppose it has nothing to do with pronunciation. ;-)

Another nice one (or not-so-nice?). I added it and another one in a similar vein.

I find tit for tat to raise eyebrows when I say it. So I avoid saying it.

That would be a terrible combo. :-P

I've added a variant of yours, chained_bear.

Suggest never pairing the phrase "that's mighty white of you" with the word niggardly.

Ha ha! Great idea for a list. Love it!

I have trouble with several of these words, and also with diction.