fuck

You don't have to understand French to get the joke of this bilingual (subtitled) video on the perils of cross-cultural non-communication, but it helps to know that the word for the animal "seal" is ''phoque'', pronounced "fuck". The three-minute clip is funny, not vulgar, with a political point. (There's also an 8-minute version with a lot more "fucks" and ''phoques''.) It trades on a special type of false friends, words that are homophones between languages.

Donnie: You're such a fuck-ass.
Elizabeth:(laughing) What? Did you just call me a fuck-ass? You can just go suck a fuck!
Donnie: Please tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?
Elizabeth: You want me to tell you?
Rose Darko: We will not have THIS at the dinner table.
Donnie: I'm all ears.
(Pause)
Samantha: What's a fuck-ass?

Ha!

Bewdy.

It's nigh impossible to imagine this kind of episode without a symphony of f-bombs.

Thanks, I've fixed it now. Careless space after "href"…

Link is bodgy, frin. A bit of wordie.org/words seems to have crept in.

I am reminded of the "Songs of Praise" episode of The Vicar of Dibley. Alice has the Bible reading and is becoming increasingly confused by the descending or "long s" common in ye olde worlde printing.

ALICE: Ye are the falt of the earth, and fainted. Sainted. Thou shalt feel…seal your endeavours until ye fit on his right hand. Therefore fight the good fight for his…fake, and he shall be thy f…
VICAR: Succour. "And he shall be thy succour," thank you Alice!

You really have to watch it, the scene starts around 6:35 on this clip.

(Incidentally, Alice's reading has nothing with Song of Solomon 6:2 to do. It's more like a portmanteau Bible verse.)

You're using WordiePRO, aren't you?

Reading your comment, bilby, for some reasons I had the feeling your eyebrows are burnt.

(don't ask me why, there is no reason for that)

Fuck.

(I just like to say it.)

1. I know things. The Oracle's tea leaves are in my compost, dig?
2. No, not a slang term. But hardly everyday parlance either.
3. (fanciful) I sense The Pattern. Or maybe it's just late on Friday. You know, if dog years are like 7 human years, then 1 human day is like a dog week. About 6 o'clock on any day for any dog is like Friday. He's not glad you're home, numb nuts, he's just jiving for the weekend. So 6 o'clock on Friday is, wow, ecstasy on a mutton bone. But I'm not a dog. And besides, it's midnight here. Whahaha-burp.

http://wordie.org/people/recent/smrtrthnu

And how do you know that was the first word I added?

clitoridectomy isn't a slang term

1. Sex is fun.
2. Sex is good.
3. Sex is what most people are "obsessed" with anyway so why not words about it?
4. "Fuck" is far more versatile than just sex.
5. "Fuck" is a great word.
6. See bilby's statement.

The first word you added was clitoridectomy so perhaps you can answer that yourself.

why are people obsessed with slang terms and slang terms referring to sexual activity and the like?

Look, my probation officer's all over me as it is. You trying to get me in trouble?

*inhales*

Come onnnn... First one's free.

*inhales fragrance of small Enterprise model*

No. No, I can't.

Oh, sorry about that. Well, there you have me: Voyager *does* blow dead rats. 42 of them, to be precise. And to get back on topic here: Fuck Voyager!

Reesetee... come on... comment on Star Trek. You know you want to! It'll make you feel good! All your friends are doing it! *waves a small Enterprise model under reesetee's nose*

Jennarenn, you'd have to go check out the 42 page to see why we're bringing up Dara Torres. ;-)

I'm not commenting on Star Trek. Not...commenting....

No, no, c_b. We went over Deanna before. B'Elanna Torres was on Voyager, which, as yarb correctly posits, blows dead rats.

Are you thinking of Deanna Troi? Meh. I never understood the appeal.

I guess so. But I can't stand Voyager, and almost never watch it. The only good character is the holographic doc. The rest make me want to slit my teeth.

You're thinking of B'Elanna, there, yarb.

Me too, now.

For some reason I keep thinking Dara Torres is a Star Trek character.

Dara Torres is a U.S. olympic swimmer who won silver in Bejing at the age of 41. I forget if it was the 50 or the 100 free, but it was a *very* close race for the gold.

edit: Surprisingly, c_b and I agree on the pronunciation of Norfolk.

Recta? Damn-near killed her. Who's Dara Torres?

I don't know why I'm reminded of this (yes I do, too) but I suspect you'd appreciate it. On leaving a comment on a blog the other day I was asked to type in an anti-spam word. The word was "lovehaft." I kid you not.

Skipvia: You're daaamn right.

Actually, my spawn came home from school one day a few years ago, and told us about a project the kids did on presidents. Spawn chose W. H. Taft, and as a bonus wrote some alternate lyrics to "Shaft." Now, I am unable to look at any list of U.S. presidents without getting to Taft and singing "Taft! He's one baaaaaad motherf-- Shut yo' mouth!"

Stick that in your Dara Torres and smoke it. Er... I mean... metaphorically.

Really? I had no idea.

It's funny that you should mention Dara Torres and 42 in the same conversation, because that's how old she'll be next year.

Shaft. *hee hee*

Eesh. I'm going back to the 42 page. It's so much more pleasant.

*snort*

Especially right after that turn! (Wait...) Before that turn!

Skipvia, we locals know that, in the Grand List of Great American Cities, poor No-fuck Vagina always gets the shaft.

(p.s. I posted that comment before, then deleted it from embarrassment, and then decided if skipvia can make grand fart jokes that live on in legend, and bilby can be obsessed with bear rectums ... recta? ... then modesty be damned!)

It would be tricky to build up the momentum necessary to jump Dara Torres the 13.75ft into this conversation.

Me? I'm not sneaking anything into any conversation. Nuh-uh. Not me.

In high school, we referred to Norfolk, Virginia as "No-fuck Vagina." As often as we could. We thought it was very funny. Then.

Are you trying to sneak Dara Torres into this conversation, reesetee? As AbraxasZugzwang would quote, were he here, "Fuck me!"

Who's what?

Should I lie about my age on fuck? *ponders*

Who's 42?

42.

This is how the second syllable of "Norfolk" is pronounced.

Yes, telofy, excellent. I missed it first time around.

I think I love peteyk.

more about peteyk: i like simple words
if you don't then go screw off

!

lumber, 'gus.

I certainly meant to list fuck, not duck (which I also like) or suck (which I don't, so much).

I'm intrigued.

fuck
word
is
a
smack
wordthatisactuallyasentencewithnospaces
fish

What's the 8th?

I reckon them's were the days before open and shared lists, 'nger'. So if he/she listed 8 and only has 4 on a single list, prolly ghosties.
Edit: and words on his/her profile!

peteyk also added fish and awordthatisactuallyasentencewithnospaces to their list of 4 words. An eclectic mix? Made a comment on TooHotty's profile ('nice words') and added 4 words, presumably to other lists. Then 'doesn't appear to have done anything recently'.
It would be interesting to know those other 4 words?

And a high proportion of spam is really about ducks?

Can we assume that fuck should not be so highly rated because a lot of Wordies meant to list duck or suck?

Peteyk, the first to list fuck, was also the first to list word.

Yes, it certainly does. So does fugue. Well, for me anyway.

I wonder if someone has a list for these...

Ruckus also has its perils.

Yes, if you try to type "duck" you're liable to miss one direction and type "fuck" or the other and type "suck."

Right, "f" and "d" are so ducking close on qwerty/z keyboards; that really ducks!

We're laughing, in this room.

Misspelling of duck.

...and now it's again in the top 100.

Still one of the best fucking words around, is fuck. I once saw a t-shirt that said "Fuck you, you fucking fuck." Hard to find any other words quite as versatile. Also, one of my favorite language-arts books is "English as a Second F*cking Language."

Cabbagee, I'm afraid it was never true that one had to ask permission of some third party, let alone one's monarch, to have intercourse. (Thank fucking heaven.)

Backronym.

It's a urban legend, Cabbagee!

I thought the word was from when you had to get permission to have intercourse (because you were only supposed to if you wanted children) and you had to hang a sign on your door while you were saying Fornication Under Consent of the King.
I don't know if that's correct though, I read it on a radom facts website XD

Bah. It's a far better word than diaphanous if you ask me.

Out of the top 100.

Perhaps the video would be better served by being over at 99?

I am the 99th person to list the word, the song is called "99 problems".

I can't see the point of inserting the video here, artb.

I would list it again if I could. :)

Now 99 Wordies list it. Who's going to list the fuck of the century. (Can I say that?).

Regarding Lampbane, I've almost got it -- is the noun possessive?

Is it weird, Reesetee, that I immediately given only "the" and 3 f-words I guessed exactly the precise form the soldier used?

Good article, Lampbane. My favorite paragraph:

"Rarely do any of these people display a glimmer of the creativity shown by a fellow soldier in my Army days. The jeep he was driving broke down. Looking under the hood, he needed only four words to pronounce the vehicle beyond repair. The first was 'the,' followed by the Simmons-Cheney-Spitzer word in its adjectival, noun and verb forms--in that order. It bordered on poetry."

Bad Words, Overused, Can Lose Their Sting (New York Times, 05/16/08):

The most surprising thing about Sue Simmons’s unbleeped blooper the other night is that anyone in this city even noticed.

You may have read about her unfortunate slip. Ms. Simmons, a news anchor on WNBC-TV, tried to get the attention of her longtime partner, Chuck Scarborough, by asking him, “What are you doing?”

Only she did not realize that they were live on the air. And she didn’t quite say “What are you doing?” She inserted two words between “what” and “are.” One of those words was “the.” Sorry to be coy about the other one, but it is not allowed to be printed here. Rules are rules. If you can’t figure out what it is, you have not been in New York very long — like less than four minutes.

Despite a certain amount of twitter over this incident, it seems that both the republic and Ms. Simmons will survive. “She’ll continue to be on the air,” said a WNBC spokeswoman, Susan Kiel.

The reality is that this vulgar word has been tossed about with such abandon in public for so many years that New Yorkers tend to tune it out. Its endless, and mindless, repetition left them numb long ago. By now, the word is no longer shocking, just tedious.

You're right. That is good. Thanks for the link!

I just read a fantastic article in The New Republic that has a lot to do with this word. Here, read it, it's good.

I've seen some crazy etymologies, but this one surpasses them all, sheer awesomeness.

Word History: The obscenity fuck is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its first known occurrence, in code because of its unacceptability, is in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys," from the first words of its opening line, "Flen, flyys, and freris," that is, "fleas, flies, and friars." The line that contains fuck reads "Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk." The Latin words "Non sunt in coeli, quia," mean "they (the friars) are not in heaven, since." The code "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now: i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This yields "fvccant (a fake Latin form) vvivys of heli." The whole thus reads in translation: "They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely (a town near Cambridge)."

Aside: FUCK did not start out life as the acronym: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

..when you need stronger words to comfort you on the waves of life. I believe strong words can not harm you - or anyone else - if your heart is pure and you understand, that the f-word is only a tool to get you through a heck of a moment. To me swear words and the like are some sort of an instant verbal gratification. I use the f-word fluently. In Finland it's a v-word. Sounds much worse in Finnish. Trust me, I know.

Is there anything it CAN'T mean?

Celebrity lexicographer Jesse Sheidlower's comprehensive book "The F-word" is worth a read. Good book, but by the thousandth variation, the f-bomb loses some of it's power.