metaphor

Some gems there, oroboros. Hugely enjoyable. Ta for sharing.

Metaphors found in high school essays: Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are some of the best:

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant with cement shoes, and she was the East River.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.

He was as lame as a duck--not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

(And a few really gross ones. Caveat lector!)

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with Hungry-Man soup.

A metaphor is like an older brother: It can at times sound poetic and intelligent, but far too often just makes a mess of ordinary situations.

It's also jealous that I described it with a simile. Perhaps I should add a note about personification?

I thought you were speaking metaphorically.

I was trying to make an analogy. ;-)

I wouldn't say "sophisticated", or "older", but more "poetic".

The sophisticated older brother of the simile.