mondegreen

Cue the Groucho Marx jokes:

Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no Santy Claus"

Minister: "We need to take up the tax"
Groucho: "I'd like to take up the carpet."
Minister: "I still insist we take up the tax."
Groucho: "He's right - you've gotta take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet."

"Do you rumba?"
"Why, yes!"
"Well, pick a rumba between one and ten."
- Not sure if it counts if you misunderstand yourself. :)

Chico: "Who are you?"
Groucho: "Im fine, thanks. Who are you?"

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

Thanks, yarb--knew there was at least one other one somewhere.

And yet more here.

Also here and here.

More mondegreens here.

Gladly, the cross-eyed bear, thinks this word is awesome.

I can never quite get the image of Vienna Teng carring an axe convincingly out of my head....

I used to hear "Lucy and this guy with diamonds" (I assumed they were getting married.)

can we start a misheard lyrics page?

"There's a bathroom on the right."

Wow. Is that the origin of this word? Never knew that...

"'Scuse me while I kiss this guy."
--Jimi Hendrix (not)

By the way, interesting article on how the human brain can distinguish time intervals between phonemes with a 90% accuracy rate is in Newsweek this week (Feb. 12, 2007, p.14, or http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16961082/site/newsweek/), from whence I ripped off this example. :)

Ye Highlands, and ye Lawlands
Oh where have you been?
They have slain the Earl of Murray,
And they layd him on the green.