tapir

I'm voting TAPIR.

Adorable as the chunky baby chow chow is, mollusque, the charging baby tapir really has it beat.

Giving the charging baby tapir a run for its money is the chunky baby chow chow.

*trying to picture a bewigged chihuahua nuzzling a watermelon*

I sometimes enjoy nuzzling watermelons. What bear doesn't? O cool, smooth, melony watermelon... how I love you...

And do watermelons nuzzle?

Where do the nuzzling ungulates fit into the scheme of things?

No, no. I would never chain a tapir, and would prefer not to be one. I would much prefer, if I were a tapir, to be an ambulatory watermelon.

reesetee, I shamelessly stole that avatar off some person on MySpace, so I can't really say it's mine. Though I think both ambulatory watermelon and bewigged chihuahua are going on my Attack Butterfly list.
Edit: Oops, I mean vicious sheep list. I get them confused.

Wait. Chained_bear, I thought it was a bewigged chihuahua? (Chained_chihuahua, though, just doesn't have the appropriate oomph.)

How silly of me. Somehow I'd thought of the chained bear as your totem. Does this mean that you've become chained_tapir?

Why, a chained bear, of course. :)

Um, c_b, who or what was your previous avatar?

Is there some way we can change WeirdNET's definition to: jolly, inoffensive pygmy elephant who just walked through Jackson Pollock's studio?

BLAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HA HA HA HA!!! That's my new avatar. HA HA HA!!

Yup, that's him, reesetee. Sorry, c_b, I omitted the closing quote on the href. Now fixed in the earlier comment and repeated here.

'Bout halfway down on this page, c_b. Right, mollusque?

Mollusque, that image is truly adorable! The second link you posted, though, gave me a 404 File Not Found. Wah!

Baby tapirs look like ambulatory watermelons. And is there anything cuter than a charging baby tapir?

I'd love it if someone called me an ungulate. (Unless I really hated that person, of course.) I'd probably laugh my rear off (and my rear could use some laughing off) just to hear the word in daily conversation.

I think my level of offence would depend on whether I was called an even-toed or odd-toed ungulate.

@SonofGroucho: (1) A baby cobra, probably two inches long, trying to strike my very threatening work boot;
(2) A dog lying on a sidewalk and being run over by a bicycle without moving a muscle; (3) The city of Monroe, LA.

@pomegranate: What weirder things have you seen since?

@bilby: I've been called much worse than an ungulate!

If some prat called me an ungulate I'd probably be offended. Then I'd go home and leaf through the dictionary with my fleshy snout. And, um ...

The first time I saw one of these, it was leashed on a porch in Bangkok, Thailand. Weirdest thing I'd ever seen up until then.

I'm offended by its smell.

Maybe it's inoffensive in the sense that it won't attack you.

And it does seem to have a curious affinity for fleshiness.

WeirdNet is the new Miss Manners!

Who is to say it is "inoffensive"?

Or swine-like animals. Same thing.

"rip at" in reverse