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*thinking the leather-eared marsupial doth protest too much*

I am NOT fascinated by chained_bear's rearguard action! I wouldn't touch it with a Transatlantic barge pole. It's just that the tappen thing is so damn funny. I can't see why it shouldn't be the butt of a few jokes. Why yank the chain when you can humbug the bum plug?

Darqueau, please put endless rectum fascination in brackets.

*sigh*

Thanks, bilby!

No, bilby, you don't. You don't have a beautiful collection of archaic terms that don't have anything to do with my rectum. ;) (P.S. Your comment makes it look like you think you don't have *excrement,* which would be another statement entirely.)

Darqueau: no worries! Thanks for pointing me to frot as I'd missed that conversation.

c_b: I don't have an excrement list.

c_b...endless rectum fascination? You now know what it's like to be a gay man...
see frot!

p.s.
no harm intended. :-)

(smiley-faced punctuation is unfortunately neccesary it seems, in order to prevent unnecessary animosity on interweb-sites such as this :))

Why would people associate me with ____poop? That's easy: because of you and your endless fascination with my rectum. :)

Note that the same number associated me with the marvelous imaginatory power of Lewis Carroll.

Edited the tallies, c_b, thanks for noting. Clinchpoop/wabe both garnered 3 votes for you. Now why would people associate you with _____poop?

1. I am pissed that I went through my spreadsheet and made a second column called "2nd guesses." You can probably all imagine my chagrin when MORE OF MY ORIGINAL GUESSES WERE RIGHT than my second guesses. Gah!

2. Bilby, reesetee also guessed my mojo. And in fact, it was dreadfully easy for anyone who's been to my profile page. *thinks about changing profile page* Also jennarenn, who didn't play publicly, guessed it. So apparently my mojo is working, but nobody notices it.

3. I'm never playing this again. *sigh*

EDIT: 4. I just went and checked my spreadsheet against the correct answers (evidently I have far too much time on my hands). I would have got SIX right if I'd stuck with my first guesses. >:|

Heavens, yarb, no reason to be even a little bit scared of me. Just list schadenfreudgeon somewhere and rest easy.

Thanks bilby, and the rest of you sad lamers!

Edit: Argh. I was completely drunk when I wrote that. I don't think any of you are sad lamers, whatever that is. I am a little bit scared of gangerh, though!

Thanks for all your hard work bilby! We all appreciate it!

I'm happy that the "Old Guard" wordies as Bilby called them were the ones to correctly place me on that word.

Ha, that's good. You should ask to have harvey wallbangerh put on at the Arms for sure.

I am thoroughly please, Prolagus, that you choose stripper for me (even though it was wrong)... and moreso considering your reasoning!

I might have a harvey wallbangerh :-) Upped your total to 4 on the scoreboard, dontcry.

Gosh! Ordinary words fail me. Thanks to you and your efforts in organising and administering this contest, bilby, and uselessness for the inspired idea, Wordie is the real winner here. What a wonder Wordie is, that it brings us all together in such fun pursuits as words, wordplay, word banter, and this fascinating game.
The drinks are on me at the Verbal Arms, as soon as you can all get round there. What do you all want?
Hang on though - - - 'spose I should be able to work that out!!
No, don't tell me yet. I feel a new game coming on ........ Identify the Wordie's drink at the Verbals! Next month, maybe.

This was great fun. Mortifying, but great fun! Thanks bilby. Now get back to your usual irreverence! ;oP

Hey!? I got asa (gravlax) right too! I got 4 right!! 4!

"Stripper!!" Doh!

Don't worry Pro, I suck worse :D

Sionnach is totally a stripper. And a peeler, too.

I defend sunflower as a logical choice for dontcry :P
Sunflowers turn with the sun to always get the most sunlight. That's how I picture dc on The Porch. Slowly turning the deckchair...

P.S. Thanks for setting this up, bilby :) Much fun was had.

The data is convincing that them's fightin' words from a misfiring, cat-torturing, law-usurping, stat-retching dogface.
*makes universal gesture of derision of those who imbibe too heavily of fermented potatoes and navel fluff*

Jawdropping indeed. Hats off to ganger. I am in awe.

For the record, I chose pluripotent as a hint, to steer people to think of plurals, since one of my most vocal contributions to Wordie had been on the treatment of 'data' as a plural noun.

A male leather-eared marsupial who describes himself as an artless, innocent, unworldly, young girl might want to consider seeking professional counseling. Or gender reassignment surgery. Been spending too much time in those online chatrooms, eh?

Oops! Forgot my manners. Thanks for setting this up, oh leather-eared one. Lots of fun.

So I suck. Whatever.

I chose stripper for Darqueau since it was the dirtiest word I could find on the list :-) how disappointing that he chose such a noble word!
frogapplause was ingenue because of the adorably naïve style of some of her comic strips...
pterodactyl was about to leave, so goodbye sounded appropriate...
gravlax sounded very worthy of skipvia to me.

The rest was basically a series of educated guesses.

Sigh has been the "onomatopoeia that best describes me" for months! I removed it the day I sent my word choice for the game. I think it *really* describes me. *Sigh*

pleth, you will be forever in my heart for having matched sionnach with stripper. You deserve an honorary point for that. The tart.

Ahahaha! epic fail!

Ooh. It appears gangerh's guesstimation-faculties are twice as capacious as other participants'! (—Intimidating! Though I do still hope I'm around for the next one, no matter who it entails badly losing against! :>)

Results are IN! Please look in the list description for the full account of what happened. Your performance may be measured against the following scale:
0-1 There are some nice people over on Flickr
2-3 mollusque and sionnach and the laws of probability have you covered
4-6 You've played Affix the Appendage to the Pachyderm before, haven't you?
7-10 We hear and we obey
11-14 Steroids
15-19 Asteroids

Jaw-dropping result! Stand by ...

SQUAAWWWKKKKK! Yes, you know what that means: The Buzzard has gone off and the competition is now closed.

Pro, absolutely no offense taken! I knew you were joking; I just couldn't get the joke through my thick skull. :-) Now, go celebrate those TOEFL scores and stop worrying!

*anxiously awaiting the winning announcement*

If not for the red herrings, the probability of getting no correct matches would be 1/e, or roughly 37%*. Which would imply that the probability of at least one correct identification would be 63%.

Presence of the red herrings increases the probability of no correct matches (but I'm too lazy/stupid to figure out by how much exactly). But a 50% probability of getting at least one correct match by chance alone sounds about right.

*: This is known as the 'hatcheck problem', a favorite in introductory probability courses.

Any more for any more? *paw twitches over Buzzard*

Mia, I think the odds of one right at random are slightly better than fifty-fifty. I'm hoping for three...

asativum: gravlax
bilby: stripper
chained_bear: clinchpoop
darqueau: wabe
dontcry: relaxed
frogapplause: quixotic
gangerh: irreverent
john: cred-herring
oroboros: yarb
palooka: goodbye
plethora: ingenue
prolagus: groovin'
pterodactyl: sunflower
rolig: esemplastic
seanahan: mojo
sionnach: psychasthenic
skipvia: thoughtful
whichbe: zoetrope
yarb: bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronnt...

asativum gravlax
bilby bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
chained_bear mojo
darqueau cavalier
dontcry wabe
frogapplause goodbye
gangerh cred-herring - couldn't resist
john clinchpoop
oroboros irreverent
palooka quixotic
plethora psychasthenic
prolagus sigh
pterodactyl hunky-dory
rolig esemplastic
seanahan relaxed
sionnach pluripotent
skipvia groovin'
whichbe ingenue
yarb yarb

asativum chainsaw
bilby psychasthenic
chained_bear sunflower
darqueau mojo
dontcry hunky-dory
frogapplause cred-herring
gangerh wabe
john quixotic
oroboros cavalier
palooka clinchpoop
plethora pluripotent
prolagus groovin'
pterodactyl zoetrope
rolig stripper
seanahan bladder
sionnach esemplastic
skipvia bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
whichbe gravlax
yarb ingenue

The slack 'born-in-wedlock' now keying in the winning entry.

Pro:

Absolutely I knew you were kidding; given the message everyone gets when the site is down "slack bastard" is clearly just a funny in-joke. Don't think for a minute I was upset or offended - just pulling your chain a bit in response.

You guys on wordie are my people - you all bring me so much joy on a near-daily basis, it would take a lot before I would take genuine offence.

Now, let's see who won the contest. Oh wait. The buzzer hasn't sounded yet. And we still have to hear from gangerh. That slack bastard!

:-)

baci e abbracci!

I'm out for the evening! Be nice! Can't wait to see who wins (totally not me!)

Pro -- not that you asked ME... but I totally got that you were being funny with "slack bastard." In my opinion, it's nearly always used as a joke. Given the context (YOU) I would assume that you meant it as funny -- but then again, I never take myself, or the people I hang with, too seriously...it's not healthy!

Not here, dontcry... it's bedtime (whatever that means)!

sionnach and reesetee, since my English is (still) context-dependent, I have to ask you explicitly: is it clear that it was an innocuous joke? i just like the sound of slack bastard, does it sound offensive to anyone? I can edit every single comment where I used it, if necessary.

sionnach -- baby, bring those idle hands over here! We've got some gardening to do! After that, we can rock out on The Porch -- just a couple of slack bastards!

Just got in and connected, bilby. How long have I got?

Buzzz....zzzzzz.....zzzzzz

I think that Pro has too much time on his hands, r_t.

With respect to the charge of slackness: do you seriously think anyone else typed the word in question, Pro? So my "slackness" is that I didn't bother to cut and paste. Well, golly gee, I guess that makes me a slacker.

With respect to the charge of illegitimacy: you have no way of knowing whether or not I attributed my word to somebody else.

(Maybe I have a little too much time on my hands myself)

Any more entries? I'll tell The Buzzard to start warming up.

Slack because he didn't type the whole word,
bastard because he attributed his word to someone else...
but this was just a film in my mind, apparently :-)

That was just awful!

asativum - gravlax
bilby - thoughtful
chained_bear -sigh
darqueau - cavalier
dontcry *humming*
frogapplause - ingenue
gangerh - zoetrope
john - relaxed
oroboros - hunky-dory
palooka - esemplastic
plethora - sunflower
prolagus - quixotic
pterodactyl - goodbye
rolig - inexorable
seanahan - irreverent
sionnach - stripper
skipvia - groovin'
whichbe - mojo
yarb - yarb

Clearly I'm not getting the joke--but no disrespect was intended, sionnach.

Hey now! A little respect here, please!

But how does that make sionnach a slack bastard in my eyes?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

I've made a few last-minute changes - but that's it! Final answer.

Okay, here's my WAG:

asativum : thoughtful
bilby : groovin'
chained_bear : stripper
darqueau : goodbye
dontcry : sigh
frogapplause : quixotic
gangerh : hunky-dory
john : wabe
oroboros : woof!
palooka : relaxed
plethora : bladder
prolagus : cred-herring
pterodactyl : mojo
rolig : psychasthenic
seanahan : inexorable
sionnach : pluripotent
skipvia : ingenue
whichbe : yarb
yarb : cavalier

(All editing concluded; enough already!)(Wait! NOW it's done. I wash my hands...)(would you believe NOW! Foo!)

Yes you do! You attributed to sionnach the word he called "that very long word starting with bababa" :-)

Pro: I do?

oroboros : mojo
palooka : bladder
gangerh: cred-herring
pterodactyl: sunflower
chained_bear: yarb
sionnach: pluripotent
rolig: esemplastic
darqueau: sigh
john: clinchpoop
whichbe: psychasthenic
skipvia: cavalier
seanahan: goodbye
plethora: chainsaw
bilby: relaxed
prolagus: groovin'
dontcry: hunky-dory
frogapplause: stripper
asativum: gravlax

oops. Thanks plethora.
editing in progress...

Darqueau, are you aware you have groovin' twice? :)

reesetee thinks sionnach is a slack bastard...

Here are mine:

asativum: gravlax
bilby: yarb
chained_bear: mojo
darqueau: chainsaw
dontcry: psychasthenic
frogapplause: zoetrope
gangerh: cred-herring
john: clinchpoop
oroboros: hunky-dory
palooka: relaxed
plethora: ingenue
prolagus: sigh
pterodactyl: irreverent
rolig: thoughtful
seanahan: quixotic
sionnach: bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
skipvia: groovin'
whichbe: pluripotent
yarb: esemplastic

astavium gravlax
bilby cred-herring
chained_bear chainsaw
dontcry sigh
frogapplause hunky dory
gangerh mojo
john pluripotent
oroboros quixotic
palooka psychasthenic
plethora wabe
prolagus ingenue
pterodactyl bladder
rolig esemplastic
seanahan groovin'
sionnach sunflower
skipvia goodbye
whichbe zoetrope
yarb yarb

oops, I put a couple twice... will fix shortly
Edit: done!

asativum irreverent
bilby inexorable
chained_bear wabe
darqueau stripper
dontcry psychastenic
frogapplause ingenue
gangerh bladder
john thoughtful
oroboros esemplastic
palooka chainsaw
plethora quixotic
pterodactyl goodbye
rolig hunky-dory
seanahan mojo
sionnach pluripotent
skipvia gravlax
whichbe zoetrope
yarb yarb

BTW I chose a word that describes me etc etc. Have fun! I'm going to the beach!

Here goes nothing -

asativum : gravlax
bilby : clinchpoop
chained_bear : zoetrope
darqueau : chainsaw
dontcry : psychasthenic
frogapplause : hunky-dory
gangerh : groovin'
john : thoughtful
oroboros : that very long word starting with bababa
palooka : cavalier
plethora : ingenue
prolagus : sigh
pterodactyl : irreverent
rolig : esemplastic
seanahan : inexorable
sionnach : xxxxxx
skipvia : mojo
whichbe : relaxed
yarb : yarb

Too many red herrings, but whatcha gonna do?

When you say Friday deadline, bilby, I hope you mean everyone's Friday around the globe. Otherwise I'm going to miss it, guessing that your Friday is one of the first to end.

At this stage we have two Wordies tied in the lead! And they are miles ahead of the rest. Going to be tough to catch.

asativum: gravlax
bilby: ingenue
chained_bear: psychasthenic
darqueau: pluripotent
dontcry: hunky-dory
frogapplause: *******
gangerh: cred-herring
john: zoetrope
oroboros: cavalier
palooka: quixotic
plethora: bladder
prolagus: sunflower
pterodactyl: inexorable
rolig: sigh
seanahan: groovin'
sionnach: irreverent
skipvia: chainsaw
whichbe: clinchpoop
yarb: bababa...

Yes.

Bilby, aren't you leaving it open until Friday night?

I'll try not to offend anyone with my guesses, but no guarantees.

asativum -- ingenue
bilby -- psychasthenic
chained_bear -- like I'm gonna tell you.
darqueau -- chainsaw
dontcry -- groovin'
frogapplause -- relaxed
gangerh -- quixotic
john -- clinchpoop
oroboros -- zoetrope
palooka -- hunky-dory
plethora -- sunflower
prolagus -- irreverent
pterodactyl -- cavalier
rolig -- pluripotent
seanahan -- inexorable
sionnach -- wabe
skipvia -- gravlax
whichbe -- sigh
yarb -- I went for the obvious because someone ought to -- yarb

Pro, you were supposed to choose a word 'which best describes you' as per the instructions. If you didn't, no dramas, it's equally obscure for all contestants :-)
I will put up a reminder about getting votes in a few hours before I shut this down. We only have 5 votes in to this point and I was expecting up to 20. Still a way to go yet.

Wait! I just got back home and I have to go to bed... It's Thursday night where I am --I don't know what day it is where you are, bilby, but I'm thinking it's going to be Friday night there before it is here...YIKES!!

I'll get on this very important task in the morning. Don't end the game without me.... please!

Probably the last person you'd want to ask for a word that describes himself/herself is a Wordie.

Hmmm...is this a thinly veiled hint?

Thanks for pointing that out, Bilby, I didn't notice. I copied it straight from my Notepad, where I was shifting around all these words during the last two days to see which one would fit best for each participant. And grawlax is a great word, me likes it too much :P I'll leave it to Rolig then, and try to come up with a new word for Seanahan. Ugh, it's so difficult and discombobulating!

Pro, if this is anything like the original game, anything goes. You can use a word that describes yourself, but you can also choose a word that throws everyone else off the trail and doesn't sound at all like you. You can even then "guess" that your word is someone else's, if you want. That's what makes it so fun. Of course, we latecomers don't have to worry about describing ourselves; we just have to enjoy ourselves by guessing.

Come on--I'll do it if you do it. :-) (Was planning to anyway.)

Mia, you have gravlax twice. I'll let it stand if you want it that way. I suppose you could nominate gravlax for every Wordie and that way you would get at least one right ... unless it's one of the red herrings ;-)

It really is impossible to guess. I'll be ecstatic if I get three of them right, but even one may suffice. Come on, what are the odds? (Someone calculate, quick!).

Asativum esemplastic
Bilby zoetrope
Chained_Bear pluripotent
Darqueau – that loooooooooong word that messes up this comment
Dontcry sunflower
Frogapplause ingenue
Gangerh hunky-dory
John pluripotent
Oroboros relaxed
Palooka thoughtful
Plethora psychasthenic
Prolagus irreverent
Pterodactyl inexorable
Rolig gravlax
Seanahan cavalier (or gravlax!)
Sionnach sigh
Skipvia mojo
Whichbe groovin'
Yarb stripper

It's pure guessing from my part, based on vague, vaguer than vague, intuitive associations about the participants' personalities and what they would consider an appropriate word for themselves.

Edited.

Come on, Pro! Play with uuuus! *stomps foot for effect* Don't be such a bambino. You know you want to. You're not sleeping anyway. Come one, come on, come on....

I don't think I will try! It's tremendously complicated!
By the way, do the words you chose reflect your personality? Are they words that describe you?

OK, my son's camp bus is going to be two hours late, *sniff* so I'm getting down to it! *sharpens nub pencil, pours glass of wine*

*loves yarb*

Yes it is! In fact the filename is "Yarb's slangwhanger spreadsheet.xls"

Yarb, is your spreadsheet a slangwhanger, by any chance? *spying*

I've got a notebook and a nub of a pencil...(not phallic)

No spreadsheet for me--my list is utterly unscientific. And in a Word document.

I've got a spreadsheet up and running, too! I've got macros and whizzbangs and dragons on mine.

I'm formulating a spreadsheet. This could take days, and most likely I'll get about two right (about the same proportion as last time).

*wants to whine about the abnormally high number of red herrings*

*refrains*

Well, I haven't the time for the deep detective work I wanted to do, as I'm leaving for California tomorrow. My guesses will instead be based on hasty, vague associations.

asativum - bababada...thingy
bilby - yarb
chained_bear - clinchpoop
darqueau - inexorable
dontcry - sunflower
frogapplause - sigh
gangerh - cred-herring
john - pluripotent
oroboros - thoughtful
palooka - goodbye
plethora - ingenue
prolagus - relaxed
rolig - esemplastic
seanahan - quixotic
sionnach - wabe
skipvia - mojo
whichbe - gravlax
yarb - groovin'

I deleted my hasty, ill-thought response; I plan to spend this week deep in meditation.

Yes, how can I run my simulated annealing program using everyone else's answers as input if they get all weticent with their guesses?

I don't mind if people have second thoughts. You have a few more days to work out your selections anyway. I would prefer people to post another comment rather than edit/delete their first one. I will only look at the your final comment in judging your entry.

Did somebody delete their guesses? Seems as if at least one answer set has vanished. Are people having *second thoughts*?

May I just add as a point of order, for those who are both the subject matter of Identify the Wordie AND entering the competition, no, you don't get a point for correctly identifying yourself :-7

7 red herrings? Oh dear! How on earth did they creep in?! The competition has been gremlinised!

Well, I missed bilby's "Wordie to be identified" midnight deadline, but I'll still venture my guesses...only I'll have to think on it. Glad this game is back in play!

*runs off to make list*

*snort*!

At the very last moment, dontcry, go for a yoctosecond opinion.

In that case I'm waiting until a yoctosecond after dontcry responds.

Bilby - Since the game is open until Friday, I'm going to wait until then (I'm on deadline) so I can really take my time with it! Fun game! Thanks!

OK. As the defending champion, I shall give no quarter.

asativum: bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
bilby: psychasthenic
chained_bear: wabe
darqueau: mojo
dontcry: hunky-dory
frogapplause: relaxed
gangerh: cred-herring
john: clinchpoop
oroboros: thoughtful
palooka: chainsaw
plethora: ingenue
prolagus: cavalier
pterodactyl: sunflower
rolig: esemplastic
seanahan: irreverent
sionnach: zoetrope
skipvia: wouldn't you like to know?
whichbe: sigh
yarb: gravlax

I struggled with this one for about 20 minutes, using mostly your profiles for some vague impression...basically this was impossible since I have so little to go on. They're listed in the order I matched them up...apologies to any of you if I got it horribly wrong.

skipvia - groovin'
dontcry - hunky-dory
asativum - gravlax
rolig - zoetrope
seanahan - bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
chained_bear - wabe
darqueau - inexorable
bilby - cavalier
gangerh - cred-herring
yarb - irreverent
frogapplause - chainsaw
palooka - relaxed
john - pluripotent
oroboros - thoughtful
sionnach - mojo
plethora - psychasthenic
prolagus - quixotic
pterodactyl - stripper

I make that seven red herrings, bilby, is that right?

There's no rhyme or reason to half of my answers, I just took a stab at the ones I thought I knew and toko much wilder stabs at the others.

bilby: relaxed
dontcry: sunflower
chained_bear: clinchpoop
frogapplause: hunky dory
pterodactyl: irreverent
whichbe: gravlax
john: thoughtful
darqueau: mojo
palooka: inexorable
yarb: pluripotent
prolagus: cavalier
gangerh: groovin’
rolig: esemplastic
asativum: ingenue
sionnach: stripper
seanahan: sigh
skipvia: yarb
oroboros: bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk

GAME ON! Please re-reread the instructions at the top of the list before entering your comment/solution to *drumroll* Identify the Wordie #2!

Do we get a list of who actually entered?

Wow, there's an awful lot of Wordies to identify here! And some fun new words, too :)

Wait, are there red herrings as well?

Because I haven't put the name list up, any last-minute entrants can still join ... just have to email your Wordie nick and your chosen word to identifythewordieATyours.com
DON'T leave a comment here saying 'Can I still enter?' Anyone will then be able to hone in on your word as one of the last added!

Only because you just said so!

Well, I guess I missed out on this one.... *sniff*

Last chance to enter as a 'Wordie to be identified', which means by midnight my time. Or the time I go to bed as I'm not Prolagus/plethora.
Seeing as we have plenty of entrants I've started putting their words up so you commence delving :-)

huh??
gotta go...
cya's 2morrow
=]

I've invited a few of the 'better known' Wordies personally. If you didn't get a personal invite, just invade the thing anyway! Notify me at identifythewordieATyours.com of your Wordie nick and a single word that defines and you will be in, simple as that.

Alright, I might start adding words. Soon :-> Or not! In any case, a few more Wordies to identify would be appreciated. I'll give you a bit longer to transpose your lethargic posteriors.

No real deadline plethora. I already have six Wordies to identify. I'm happy to give it another day or so before the action gets seriously under way.

Don't worry, pleth. I'm sure we'll play this again someday. :)

*gets to thinkin'*
Er... describing myself in one word is more difficult than I thought. This could take some time, haha. Is there a deadline?

All I can say is that the first few candidates are in, dc. Keep trying, it's working.

my email was rejected...:(

Um, it's for real and a half then? I set up the email address today and seems to be working. Bring your friends!

If this is for real, I'm in.

If it isn't for real, I'm doubly in.

It's time! Please email identifythewordieATyours.com with the information as requested in the instructions. Those who put their identifying word 'up for grabs' will also be welcome to compete.